Some of you might have noticed that I haven’t been as active as I normally am around this blog. I had big plans a couple of months ago, but they’ve kind of fallen behind lately. And, well, I thought I needed – and wanted – to explain what’s been going on.
A few weeks ago I went to the doctor for a completely different and very simple reason, but when she ran some tests on me it turns out there’s actually a reason to why I’ve been completely lacking motivation lately; why I’ve been so ridiculously and indescribably tired; why I’ve been going kind of nuts without any apparent reasons; and why my body has been acting strangely.
I thought it was all due to stress that I’ve caused upon myself and that it would just go away with time.
But I was apparently completely wrong.
Turns out I have hypothyroidism – basically, an insufficient thyroid that’s not producing the hormone it’s meant to produce. And that’s why I haven’t been myself lately – not because of something I caused upon myself, but because my body was trying to cope with the lack of something that’s vital to it.
At first I thought the doctor was wrong. I mean, I’m such a healthy person! I’m practically never sick! But then as I really thought it through I suppose it makes sense. Hypothyroidism does run in my family, so it wasn’t that unexpected after all. And frankly, it’s a bit of a relief, in a way, to find out that whatever has been happening is actually not my fault, and definitely not due to laziness.
So the doctor prescribed me some medication – a high dose of thyroid hormone in the form of a daily pill – and asked to come back for new tests.
What the doctor failed to tell me, though, was that there was a risk that my body would freak out due to the fact that I was now going to go from zero to a thousand in an instant.
So the last couple of weeks has been a bit of a haze. Imagine what it feels like when you’re a bit tipsy – slightly dizzy, your brain’s not quite working as normal, you’re confused and forgetful, and all up weird… That’s what I’ve felt like constantly for two weeks. I also had to go through my first ever panic attack (can I just say that I feel for the people who suffer these regularly. WTF? is all I can say) and I’ve been weirdly emotional (I spent one whole day crying. Literally, a whole day…)
But this is all because my body is adjusting to what it’s actually like to suddenly have the hormones it’s been missing.
And yesterday I realised that I’m finally starting to feel different. The motivation I’ve been lacking for so long is slowly starting to come back, and I’m not as tired anymore. In general, I think I’m starting to feel a little bit better.
The only question I have now is: Am I going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life?
But then I figure… So what, really?
If it is for life, then so be it. There’s not much I can do about it, if that’s the case. Sure, I might have to take a pill for the rest of my days, but that’s definitely not the end of the world. As long as I can keep my thyroid levels up and right in some way, I’ll be happy.
I will make it work, no matter what.
Besides, I’m feeling totally ready for 2017. Bring it on, world! I have a feeling this year will be a pretty magic year…!
Thank you for staying with me!
And Happy New Year! 🙂